The Thursday One Geek, One Jar.

Darren returns to the Thursday Club and he’s not happy. What’s new? Well, you’ll need to read it to find out!

I’m back! Did you miss me? Of course you didn’t. Thanks to Stewart for filling in last week, even if he did (by his own admission) phone it in.

Which is exactly what I do, so I’m sure my legions of fans hardly noticed.

I’ve been writing his column for a while wee while now, and apart from other staff members, the comments are nonexistent. I feel like I’m shouting into a vacuum at this point.

So I’ve came up with three ideas that I may try to encourage comments;

1) I do ‘One man, One jar’ and see how many hits we get.
2) I improve, make this into a friendly light weekly chat.
3) I stop giving a shit, write for myself. If you read it and don’t comment then I hope your next shit is a hedgehog.

I’m sure you would all prefer either one or two, but obviously I’m going with number three. There’s also no pictures or videos this week, because you don’t deserve them. Or because I couldn’t find anything I wanted to include that wasn’t ”One man, One jar” or ”Goatse”. Either way, everyone else is to blame, not me.

I’ll be honest, my creative inspiration has hit an all time low, it’s purely because of FORCED overtime at work. Working 50-60hours a week is fine, but not when you’ve been forced to. I know it sounds like an excuse, but then busy period has nearly passed, and I’m sure my column will improve.

I suppose this is the point where I stop chatting shit and write about an actual topic.


Not just classic words I want tattooed on my knuckles, but also my feelings towards being a geek and geek culture in general.

Considering I write a ‘geek life’ column, I should probably elaborate a bit.

First of all, I hate how much time everything takes when you are a geek.

Waiting on new games being released for them just to be delayed again. And since I’m mostly play RPGs the game it’s self will take at least 40-50 hours to complete. I really shouldn’t complain, because it’s better value for money, and the stories and worlds are at the very least interesting, and shit like that takes time, time I don’t always have.

Buying a comic book, reading it in 10 minutes, just to wait a month to start the cycle again. Never being able to learn just enough about a subject, always having to know as much as possible (I remember staying up ’til 5am reading about the history of Cambodia, because I thought the Angkor stage in Tekken looked cool.) Having to wait for the next episode of a show to come out or having to wait for it to be finished so I can binge watch it, and then have to wait again for the next series (SERIES NOT SEASON.) These are all first world problems, I know this, but I live in the first world, so yeah…

Conventions piss me off as well. I understand that it’s nice to have a place to celebrate and share your love for a specific hobby, and meet like minded people, but I generally don’t like people, and when someone has a shared interest, especially at a convention, all they want to talk about is that one thing. I get it, I really do, but that’s what reddit is for, or THE COMMENTS SECTION ON FPGNEWS. In real life I can’t just close the tab and have you shut up, and that bothers me. So yeah, if you seem me at a convention ever, feel free to come and talk, but expect me to either tell you to piss off, or try and change the subject.

Yes, I do like X-men, yes I see you like them too, that’s why we are here! It’s like people that wear an *insert band* t shirt to that bands concert. We know you are a fan, you came to the fucking show.

Sorry, maybe I’m just angry, tired, hungry and annoyed because my Warlock is stuck at 369 light because I’ve been having to work so much.

Basically, I love being a geek, and I love being around other geeks, and talking about comics, games, science and tech, but only when I want to. If you ever want to talk about music, politics or religion, anytime anywhere son.

It’s not you fault, but once again, it’s my column, so yeah…

Maybe sometimes it is good to ‘Dull your Darren’ – shit, you might actually get a decent column out of me that way. I’ll (try to) be nicer next week, and shower you with pictures and videos and happy thought of unicorns… sigh.

For more of my random ramblings, unedited and with language that would make Frank Boyle blush, check out my blog,, I’ve deleted everything on it, and I’m relaunching it at the weekend.

Because having no one read a column on just one site isn’t enough.


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I probably don't like you, you probably don't like me. Enjoy

Darren Ramsay

I probably don't like you, you probably don't like me. Enjoy

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  • Ryan Morrow

    I didnt read this column

    • Darren

      Why not?

  • Sean Colin Comer

    “I hope your next shit is a hedgehog.”

    One, I think you have a sign-off.

    Two, I’m hearing that in my head in Groundskeeper Willie’s voice.

    Three, the above has brightened my day already, and it’s only 3 a.m. here.

  • Sean Colin Comer

    Additionally, well-done. Time and Money kick our people in the daddy-bags and lady-parts constantly. Fortunately, it makes opportunistic shoppers and occasional pirates of us all.

    Is it next Thursday yet?

  • I read this and didn’t comment

    Wait….fuck 🙁

  • Darren

    People, sorry for not replying quicker. Well I did, but for some reason the WordPress app won’t post any of my comment replies. So that nice.

    Sean, I responded to some of those things already but thanks dude. Glad you are enjoying the column.